The Full Story – The Waterloo Witch Project

Ok, I decided its just easier to post the whole thing at once, despite its size.


The following story is intended for Geeky audience only. The characters in this story do not portray any resemblance to real life individuals. This story contains stupidity, pathetic-ness and immature content. Viewer Discretion is Advised!

Over the weekend Gabriel tired of working on his work report so in order to have a lil fun he decided to play some video games, during which the girl of his dreams walks into his room.

He drops his video game, looks at her and says “HHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ……I mean… are just like an anime character” and then realizes….that she IS an anime character. He was looking at his TV this whole time. After wiping away the tears, he get a call from Vivian, who says “Hi Gabriel, I was just feeling a little bored and was wondering if you wanna come over and play some basket ball with me”

Gabriel replies, “Sure…but first I have to smother myself in vaseline to make sure that, hahah, well you know.”

Vivian: “teehee teehee, oh in that case….lemme get some grease because grease will help me in……”

Gabriel replies, “Umm…I don’t think grease would be the appropriate lubricant for this job.”

Vivian: “whoa whoa whoa….what kind of ‘job’ are you thinking of buddy?”

Gabriel: “well, I duno….just figured it would be an inside job since its such a nice day outside.”

At this point, Vivian hangs up the phone and decides to give Anojan call, who had just finished writing a totally useless program about everyone’s purchases at Futureshop. The two start a heated discussion about anime.

Vivian: “You know what Anojan, Everyone’s right you know, Umu, Mohammed, Darrin….ESPECIALLY DARRIN!!! Animes are just cartoons but for some reason messed up people like you, me, and Gabriel can’t help but love them. I think the reason we like anime so much is because…oh, can you hold for a second there’s someone the door.”

Vivian walks to the front door and looks outside and thinks to herself “Damn, its that stupid person’s body who killed when I was driving back from Waterloo”

She goes back to tell Anojan about it, who by now has written program which could tell a person, how long they have to hold before a person like Vivian comes back on the phone”

When Vivian was about to tell Anojan about the dead person, who has come for revenge the doorbell rings once more. She looks through the peephole to discover Gabriel standing outside completely covered in vaseline. Just then, Vivian’s mom comes out of the kitchen and says Vivian, why are you on the phone at 4:30am and why is there a boy dripping something in my driveway? i think you should….call the homeless shelter people. This boy needs to go there”.

Vivian asks Anojan to hold on while Anojan starts running his program.Vivian then meets Gabriel and tells him”Getthe#$%#out of here! You’re scaring my mom. I think you should gohome and take a shower. But afterwards, let’s go swimming, cause it’s nice and cold, and it looks like it’s about to rain. How does that sound?”

Gabriel: “Well I suppose that could be fun, but can I invitesome more people? and how about we go swimming at…..Wassaga beach ?”

Vivian: “Sure, you could invite more people but I can’t go to Wassaga beach cuz i’ll get burnt if I go there. Can we just go to your place?”

Gabriel gets excited and calls Anojan. The phone is busy, however, seeing as how Vivian still has him on hold. His program continues to count the minutes he is on hold. Vivian remembers Anojan is on hold, smacks herself on the forehead and then smacks herself across her face, then she smacks herself on the forehead again, then drops to the ground spinning in circles, all the time uttering the words, kenshin….. kenshin…Ken……shin… .shin….Ken……I can’t go swimming at Wasaga…..I don’t want to get those little white things in my mouth and ears.”

Then out of nowhere, Darrin and Remil burst on to the scene moonwalking backwards up to vivian and gabriel and shout “…..How ya doi’n?”and exit out.

Vivian and Gabriel look at each other trying to figure out what happened when all of a sudden Gabriel smacks Vivian across the head.

Vivian: “Ouch! Aiya! What was that for Gabe?”

Gabriel: “Oh, don’t deny it, you know you…want to go to the beach”

Vivian replies, “What does smacking me over the head have to do with me wanting to go to the beach?!?!”

So Vivian retaliates by smacking herself across the head and says “That’ll show you”

Gabriel puzzled, decides to reconsider going to the beach. Gabriel thinks to himself, “This girl’s a lil messed up. Maybe…” and then suddenly he starts smacking himself on his cheeks as well. Suddenly Anojan comes to visit Vivian and sees both her and Gabriel smacking themselves and decides to write a program that smacks himself in the face so as to not feel left out.

As the three of them are whacking away a knock comes at the door. Vivian and Gabriel have beaten themselves so badly that Anojan has to write program to answer the door. the door opens and Umair and Darrin walk in while Remil keeps moonwalking outside.

Darrin and Umair together: “Anyone up for some Demetres?”

In the meanwhile, Mohammed has pulled up in his van and shouts “let’s go!” so Darrin, umair and Mohammed head towards Demetres, while Remil moonwalks towards Demetres. Vivian, Anojan and Gabe are still smacking themselves and wondering why on earth is Remil moon walking. They shrug it off and decide to follow Darrin, Umair and Mohammed to Demetres. Wanting to arrive there first, the four of them get into’s Vivian’s car, and start heading to Demetres. Vivian’s driving fine until all of a sudden Vivian thinks to herself, “hmm… its such a nice day outside, what with the lightning, rain, thunder, and 8degrees temperature…i think i’ll open the sun roof, i wonder why they call it a sun roof, i mean who would ever open it on a sunny day…”.

As Viv opened the sunroof, she decided to stand up in her car, while driving, and then out of nowhere lightning strikes the car hitting vivian. She survives the lightning but her hair is burnt like in the cartoons you see on TV. (but its all ok because now her hair matches her face).

They finally arrive at Demetres to discover that Mohammed, Darrin, and Umu, have already finished their ice cream, and are geting ready to leave. Anojan and Gabriel are so mad, that they start smacking Vivian around, while Remil moonwalks over her. Mohammed, Darrin, and Umu, see this going on and then promptly forget about all of them as they see Shaq’s caribana float suddenly coming down the side of the parking with music blaring, a fantastic lights and pyrotechnic display, and girls galore. Darrin sees the asian girls and goes “HHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”, Mohammed sees the girls and goes “HHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”, Umair sees the artist formerly know as prince and goes

After witnessing all this, Mohammed, who was actually looking at brown guys and Umair and Darrin, along with Remil decided to leave that place. Anojan was still excited about computer controlling the float while Gabriel and Vivian were nowhere to be found.

So Darrin says to himself, “I can’t believe the Raptor’s lost that game against the Sixers. Man……It’s all Vivian’s fault. It’s a good thing Gabriel went to talk to everyone to get everyone to meet for mini-golf in 5mins, otherwise i would have seriously….”

So at the mini golf place, Vivian decided to take a wild swing for one of the shots and misses the ball completely. The putter slips off her hands and hits Mohammed in the head.

Vivian: “That’s what you get for sending distasteful e-mails to me at work. Though I really really liked the pictures of those girls in the string bikini’s, it’s still very very distasteful. you should no better…..and another thing…..”

Before Vivian could finish her sentence, Mohammed picks up the putter and tells everyone to give it a rest already, and then proceeds to get 18 consecutive holes-in-one after which he decides to go back to demetres and eat a 5scoops ice cream, with 2 scoops chocollatta, 1 scoop vanilla, 1 scoop taramisu, and 1 scoop mint chocolate chip, with bananas, chocolate fudge, and strawberries, with extra mini-cones. After finishing the ice cream he decides to go to the washroom to brush his teeth with his new tooth brush that he had bought right before coming to the amc area. However, once getting to the washroom he sees a strange guy with red spots all over his face throwing up and think to himself “ok, maybe i’ll just brush later…”

Meanwhile, back at the putting-edge on the 3rd hole Remil is now…. trying to get his ball out of the pond. The ball had conveniently landed there as Remil tried to hit but it rebounded of Anojan’s head (who was busy writing a golf program) and had landed in the pond of water. After this, Umair, Darrin, Remil and Mohammad decided to go watch a movie while Anojan started writing his movie program and Gabriel and Vivian followed not too far behind. They checked what time the movies were playing but to their dismay, all the movies were sold out. So they decide to go home and watch some channel 7 on t.v. Though everyone wanted to watch real movie, Vivian insisted on it. But then suddenly, without warning, the earth is hit by a meteor that kills everyone on the planet, except for Darrin, Jessica Alba, Rachel from S-Club, and Beyonce. They decided that this is the perfect opportunity to create a new world, and everyone….well, the 4 people left alive, live happily ever after. THE END!!!! ………………………….

………………..or is it……..out of no where there’s a big bright flash and Darrin himself outside in a place he’s never been before, he looks around and sees 6 of the most amazing vehicles he has ever seen approaching him at a furious speed. He spots Vivian driving down in a pink malibu and quickly jumps out of the way at the last minute as she comes screeching to a halt. Then anojan pulls up beside her in a car resembling a cross between the batmobile and the knight rider car but with more computers, followed by Remil in a red porsche, Umair in a Chauffeured rolls royce (he still hasn’t got insurance to drive himself), Gabriel in a yellow Ferrari, and Mohammed in a black Hummer. Darrin astonished asks them “whats going on? i thought you had all died! whered you get these cars. and Damn, where’d Rachel go?”

Umair: “yo, guy, at the last minute we finally got vivian to flip the channel and we saw back to the future part 2 so anojan quickly wrote a tv to reality conversion program and we jumped into the Doc’s Delorean and went back in time stopped the meteor, but then while we were back there we decided, hey why don’t we make ourselves rich too!”

Mohammed: “yeah along with a few other things, i am now commissioner of the nba. Lam is the first vietnamese player in the pro basketball….unfortunately he was only good enough for the wnba…..”

Anojan, “yeah and i just made my own version of windows. called window kenshin, you must use it honourably! dont run it on less than a 2gigahertz computer with 512ram!”

Gabriel “yeah and i went back in time and took all the time i wanted in finish my work report. sigh…took me forever.”

Remil “yeah, and i’m not president of raptors. richard peddie is my lackie. haha. oh and i made it a law that girls can not drive with out training wheels on their cars!”

Umair: “yeah, i became a full acc sci, got really rich, and moved west edmonton mall, the cn tower, the acc, and niagara falls (that one took a while) to milton. and i’m now living happily with julia roberts. We’re expecting” said umair proudly. “Twins!”

Darrin “nice stuff, did you do anything for me?”

Vivian: “yeah we brought you…… appointment letter to work as a trainer for Lam and to clean our cars. I hope this is good enough for you”

After hearing this, Darrin got one of his crazy fits. He started scratching his hair………. started pulling them off and kept jumping as if he is dancing on that “Nothing to lose” Scat man song. Soon, Rachel and all those people he was with came and slapped him a few times and decided to go with viv, mohammad, umair, remil, anojan and gabriel and Darrin decided that for him the only option left is to………..WORK for THEM!!

THE FINAL END!!!!!!!!!!

This is the original work of Darrin, Mohammad, Remil and Umair and cannot be reproduced, copied and /or pasted.
Copy rights DRUM Productions Ltd. Summer 2001.


One response to “The Full Story – The Waterloo Witch Project

  1. Action packed…suspenseful…humorous…this story has it all…I give it 2 thumbs up!

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