This turn.

Less than 3 weeks til the test…my nervousness is rising. I still have a ton of material to go through. And this week I have to prep for my San Fran trip and then I’ll be there for about 5 days so I only have 1 week left before the test when I get back….well…inshallah it all goes well.

I’m excited about San Francisco but at the same time…I’m kind of not. It’ll be fun going to a conference there. Interacting with people. It’ll be nice to see my cousin and his family. And my friend down there. But thats the weekend (well the conference is the week but whatever) but then what? Well I’ll explore the city I suppose. Its too bad I don’t know more people there. I’m really rather tired of not knowing ppl. Been there done that in Chennai and when I first came to NY (somewhat still actually). Its tiring and draining and hard and overall just sucks. But hey, I have the oppurtunity to go someplace I’ve never been and I will enjoy myself. And…..I’ll take my books to do a bit of studying as well 😛

I wake up. I’m tired. I brush my teeth and wash my face. I start to feel energetic. A million thoughts race through my head. Oppurtunities, memories, ideas, plans. I’m happy. I’m eagar. I look forward with anticpation. Something happens. Someone bugs me, I do something less than perfect. Things go wrong. I feel down. I get blah. I don’t care. I ignore. I bottle in. I decide this is dumb. I will continue. Only because I dont want to give up. One foot forward, after the other. I remember something, I talk to someone, I eat some chocolate, I go to sleep. I’m ready to be happy again.

Prison break = my latest addiction. I have to be careful with it. Its a major study distraction.

I think I almost caught a cold. I’m still fighting it but I refuse to be sick. Too much to do right now. I think its b/c the weather got really cold last week. And now its slightly warm again…at least during the day. But also I haven’t been sleeping or eating much….well sleeping part can’t be fixed right now…..but I’ll try to make myself eat more in the evenings. I want some pizza and fries right now actually….hmmm..almost time for iftar now….i’ll should go buy something to open roza with.

To leave the thread of all time
And let it make a dark line
In hopes that I can still find
The way back to the moment

I took the turn and turned to
Begin a new beginning
Still looking for the answer
I cannot find the finish

Its either this or that way

Its one way or the other
It should be one direction
It could be on reflection

The turn I have just taken

The turn that I was making
I might be just beginning
I might be near the end.


4 responses to “This turn.

  1. Omg! I’m obsessed with Prison Break as well! I welcome the distraction from mundane studying 🙂

  2. Haha, its too much of a distraction! I just started watching the show and I’m on like episode 9 now already.

    I started 1 episode while I was having dinner, not paying attention to the fact it was a 2 part episode. And then I just HAD to watch part 2 (it was the lockdown episode in season 1, ep 5&6 i think). So good! But so bad! I really need to be studying right now.

  3. ooohh.. are u watching season 1? I’m on to season 2 now.. it’s not even available in the UK so, like a total lame-o, I download them..

    I started watching the first season from the lockdown episode as well, lol!

    Hey, come on.. it can’t be eating away at TOO much of ur time!

  4. Yep, well I started with season 1 but I’m up to season 2 yeah its eating huge amounts of time! And just 1 mroe week til my test…eep! so i should erally concentrate…only 3 episodes left til I’m all caught up though….maybe i should just get temptation out of the way…

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